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Leaked Nudes Victim Shares Her Story To Stop Victim Blaming Online

Leaked Nudes Victim Shares Her Story To Stop Victim Blaming Online

The recent news of a Telegram group leaking nudes and revenge porn has seen victims getting victim blamed and slut shamed online.

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In light of news regarding leaked nudes on a Telegram group by an alleged law student, a Twitter user Joanna shared her experience as a victim in a bid to stop the victim blaming she’s seeing online.

Twitter post mentioning the Telegram group allegedly run by a law student. Image: @diyaseesghosts/Twitter

I just want you to know that it’s never your fault. I may not know you or your story but it’s never your fault.

Joanna on Twitter

To help everyone understand the circumstances that led her up to the point where she became a victim, she recounted her childhood days.

When Joanna was a young child, she was born with an eating disorder. She had trouble eating and if she did eat, she would throw up. After her parents consulted with a doctor, she was given appetite inducing pill.

The medication worked but then Joanna couldn’t stop eating. Her parents were happy that she was eating and didn’t see it as an issue. However, she quickly gained weight and reached 60kg by the time she was seven years old.

When she entered primary school, she started getting bullied in school due to her size, how she looked, and her inability to speak Bahasa Melayu or Tamil. The bullying not only came from her peers but from her teachers.

This carried on until she entered secondary school where she grew to 104kg. No one wanted to sit beside her in class due to her size and they even called her “Smelly Indian.”

She tried making friends in school but it never worked and lunchtime was the worst. They taunted her and said no one will love her for her size.

She used to laugh off the comments because making friends with boys was taboo for her mother.

But deep down, she was hurt and really believed that no one will ever love her for who she is.

Then Facebook came into everyone’s life. Joanna decided to sign up on Facebook to make online friends since she has no friends in real life.

It was through Facebook that she made some new friends and she felt so happy.

One of the many friends she made online was an older guy from Johor. He was mutual friends with a few of her friends from different schools.

The guy was very nice to her and always reminded her that she was beautiful. They soon become close friends and became boyfriend and girlfriend a few months after.

Joanna noted that she agreed to be in a “virtual” relationship due to all the peer pressure in school and she did like the guy for his kindness towards her. At the time, she was 13 while he was 18 years old.

Although her friends didn’t believe that she has a boyfriend, she didn’t care because she felt like her life has changed.

Joanna introduced the guy to her parents as a friend and they seemed ok with it. However, she still kept her relationship a secret because she was very afraid of her mother. She has always been closer to her father who has been her rock of support.

When the relationship soured

Everything was rosy until her boyfriend had to go for National Service and he promised that he’ll call whenever he could.

Joanna said the relationship started changing and became uncomfortable because he kept saying inappropriate things to her and pressured her to send sexy pictures.

She told him it made her feel uncomfortable and refused to send the pictures but he never stopped asking.

When she told him he was emotionally blackmailing her, he said “You are so fat yourself, and I still chose to be with you. If I leave, you won’t have anyone. This clearly shows that you don’t trust me. What’s the point of the relationship?”

He threatened to leave her which made her so hurt and depressed. After all, she has no friends to confide in such matters and she couldn’t go to her parents either. So she succumbed to the pressure and sent him a semi-nude picture and was very afraid ever since.

He sent to her his nudes as well but she deleted them immediately. She asked him to delete her picture and he promised he did. Whenever she asked about it, he accused Joanna of not trusting him.

When she finally confided in someone she trusted, the friend told Joanna to cut herself to feel better and that breaking up was a bad idea.

Joanna couldn’t stop self-harming afterwards. No one in school knew except the girl she confided in. She started cutting her thighs when the scars became too obvious.

Somehow, her boyfriend got to know about it and broke up with her because he doesn’t want someone with scars.

Joanna fell into depression and when the guy asked to come back, she told him she has moved on. He kept texting and bothering her but she never once relented. Then one day, it all stopped.

Joanna thought it was all over until she received a text from a random number saying they found a phone outside a club and it has a folder with her nudes in it with her number.

She freaked out and passed the number to a male friend. When the friend called the number, a woman picked up the phone and he hung up.

Then, Joanna received a text saying “I tried to help you but since you gave my number to someone, I’m going to viral your photo and number.”

She tried reasoning with the person but got blocked instead. After doing some digging, she found out that the number belonged to her ex-boyfriend’s current partner and they teamed up to destroy her.

Strangers started harassing her and asked to spend a night with her. Some of them also sent an MMS of the semi-nude picture she sent to her ex-boyfriend. Her ex-boyfriend insisted he knew nothing about it and disappeared.

He also tried to send the images to Joanna’s mother’s phone and it caused Joanna so much panic attacks.

Soon people in school and tuition classes knew and teased her about it. She got dirty stares and they started spreading rumours about her that she was a slut.

She didn’t know she could go to the police about matters like these so she tolerated the daily attacks and shaming.

It started again

It went on until she was around 15 years old when she started to work on herself and began a weight loss transformation. She studied hard and did well in school so her teachers never bothered her. The improvements helped with her mental health.

Two days before SPM, she received a phone call from a friend who told her someone spray painted her name on the school wall with vulgarities. Her semi-nude photos started resurfacing again.

This time around, they circulated a photo of another girl and said it was Joanna. The harassment never stopped.

Fortunately, she managed to ace her SPM but she received a printed letter in her mailbox a few days after.

In the letter, it turned out that one of her friends in school was the one who spray-painted Joanna’s name in school because she was envious of Joanna’s grades and weight loss transformation. She hoped Joanna would fail her SPM.

The anonymous friend only felt remorse when her brother got into an accident and was fighting for his life in the hospital after the spray painting incident.

Joanna said she didn’t curse the anonymous person or the family and said all is forgiven.

She decided to speak up about her experience after years of keeping it to herself after news of the Telegram group that leaked women’s nudes surfaced during the pandemic.

READ MORE: Victims Of V2K Telegram Group Come Forward To Report Abuse

She was also a victim in the Telegram group. It makes her sad that the issue is never ending and she has lost many friends to suicide due to all the slut shaming and victim blaming.

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