If you’re doing one of these things, it’s time to stop.
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Raising a child can be a daunting task for parents but there are some things that you’re doing right now to your kid right that might be detrimental towards their mental development.
Paediatric Medical Officer Dr Redza Zainol shared a thread on Twitter three toxic parental traits that can negatively affect your child.
He said that this happens when children try to talk about something, but we distance ourselves by:
- Not answering the child’s question
- Being deliberately slow to answer child questions
- Not saying anything
- Completely ignoring the child
- Not taking it seriously or belittle what the child is trying to talk about
He then gave an example of a scenario that might happen:
Child – “What does Papa like to eat?”
Our answer – “I don’t know. Anything will do.”
Dr Redza said that when this kind of behavior is repeated, eventually the child would end up not bothering to try and talk to you.
Another toxic parenting trait is by not showing any facial reaction and completely ignoring the child.
He gave another scenario as an example:
At home, the child wants to tell a story about a new thing that he or she learned from a book. We pretend to listen but end up not giving a response.
This will confuse the child because their parents are not showing any reaction, they’ll just keep quiet in the end.
In fact, we do not even focus on child’s story.
We pretend to listen while watching a Korean drama. We say we wanted to spend time with our children, but we keep playing with our phones and responding to WhatsApp messages.
Paying attention to the child means that we are 100% focused on the child at that time. We are really “present” in front of our little one.Paediatric Medical Officer Dr Redza Zainol
Finally, the last trait that Dr Redza shared was gaslighting, which means that we doubt or deny something the child tells us.
He then gave a few examples:
The child returns from the boarding school and complained that another boy had touched him.
But we answer, “It’s normal. There’s nothing. “
Or the child comes back from the babysitter’s house and complained about how they were treated.
We think that our children is just saying nonsense.
He said that the child will become confused with this sort of response, eventually losing their own self-confidence and think that all of their opinions are unimportant.
It has negative consequences
If you repeat these three habits, this is what happens to your child:
- The child does not believe in him or herself
- Very low self-confidence
- They always make the wrong decisions in life as a result of listening to other people
- They end up self-criticising themselves a lot
- They end up not knowing how to manage and control their emotions
When the child grows up and has a family, they will probably do the same to their own child. Don’t ignore what our children feel. Acknowledge what they feel by the way they look, listen and hug.Paediatric Medical Officer Dr Redza Zainol
3 sifat toksik ni kalau mak ayah buat setiap hari, anak akan hilang keyakinan diri dan perkembangan anak boleh jadi terbantut.— Redza Zainol (@DrRedzaZainol) October 20, 2021
Unkempt in both stories and appearance, Hakim loves tech but tech left him on read, previously he used to write about tall buildings and unoccupied spaces that he can't afford, and legend has it that he still can't afford it to this day