Understanding That Love Bombing Is Far From Genuine Affection, And A Form Of Manipulation
Putting effort into a relationship is great, but if you ever feel a certain amount of pressure to accept these gestures, perhaps you might be on to something.
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Have you ever had an experience where you feel a certain romantic connection is going too fast?
Putting effort into a relationship is great, but if you ever feel a certain amount of pressure to accept these gestures, perhaps you might be on to something.
Love bombing is a form of psychological abuse often used to gain control over a partner, leaving them confused and vulnerable.
According to Health Shots, love bombing includes showering a person with excessive forms of affection, gifts and grand gestures to create pressure towards emotional vulnerability.
Recognizing the signs and understanding how it differs from a healthy relationship is crucial for protecting yourself from emotional manipulation.
3 Phases Of Love-Bombing
Cleaveland Clinic has identified the 3 phases of love-bombing, and it states that people often realize these phases only when it is too late.
1. The Idealization Phase
During the initial phase, the love bomber showers their partner with overwhelming affection, gifts, and attention.
It may seem like they’ve found the perfect partner who’s deeply in love with them. This tactic is designed to lower the partner’s defenses and gain their trust quickly.
2. The Devaluation Phase
As the relationship progresses, the love bomber starts to reveal their true nature. They become more controlling, criticize you, and try to isolate you from friends and family.
This phase is marked by manipulative behaviors, making you feel guilty for maintaining other relationships or setting personal boundaries.
3. The Discard Phase
When you begin to question the love bomber’s behavior or try to set healthy boundaries, they may refuse to cooperate, blame you, or abruptly end the relationship.
This phase leaves you feeling confused and disoriented, wondering what went wrong.
Love Bombing vs. Healthy Relationships
Determining whether you’re in a healthy relationship or being love bombed can be challenging, especially when the affection feels genuine.
In a healthy relationship, boundaries are respected, and communication is open and constructive.
If you express discomfort or set boundaries, a loving partner will listen and make an effort to adjust their behavior accordingly.
In contrast, a love bomber will likely become combative, dismissive, or continue to disrespect your boundaries.
Another key difference lies in how your partner responds to your need for personal space.
In a healthy relationship, both partners understand the importance of maintaining individuality and supporting each other’s friendships and interests.
However, a love bomber will attempt to monopolize your time and isolate you from others, making you increasingly dependent on them.
7 Signs You’re Being Love Bombed
1. Extravagant, Unnecessary Gifts
A love bomber often uses excessive gift-giving as a way to win you over.
While some people naturally express love through gifts, a love bomber’s gifts tend to be extravagant even after you’ve expressed that such gestures are unnecessary.
2. Rushing to Lock Things Down
Love bombers push for quick commitment, often discussing lifelong plans or introducing you to family and friends prematurely.
If someone starts calling you their soulmate after only a few dates or talks about eloping soon after meeting, they might be trying to create a false sense of intimacy and urgency.
3. Demanding Constant Attention
While it’s natural to want to spend time with a new partner, a love bomber will demand your attention at the expense of other relationships and responsibilities.
They may become jealous of your time with friends or family, leading to unfair ultimatums where you must choose between them and others.
4. Ignoring Boundaries
A love bomber won’t take “no” for an answer. If you set boundaries, they may argue, dismiss your concerns, or pressure you to change your mind.
This disregard for your comfort is a major red flag, indicating that your needs are not being respected.
5. Isolating You from Loved Ones
To gain more control, a love bomber may try to isolate you from friends and family, either overtly by forbidding certain activities or subtly by guilt-tripping you for spending time away from them.
This isolation can make you feel increasingly dependent on them for emotional support.
6. Over-Communicating Affection
Constant check-ins, excessive expressions of love, and over-the-top public declarations can all be tactics of a love bomber.
While communication is key in any relationship, love bombing often involves overwhelming and excessive contact that feels more like surveillance than affection.
7. Feeling Overwhelmed or Off-Balance
If you feel uneasy, overwhelmed, or like the relationship is moving too quickly, these are significant indicators that something is wrong.
Healthy relationships progress at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners, and any feelings of imbalance should not be ignored.
You’re Not Crazy For Taking Things Slow
Understanding these signs and how they differ from genuine love can help you protect yourself from the emotional damage caused by love bombing.
A healthy relationship takes time to nurture, no one should feel pressured to accept one’s affection in such short period of time.
Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, communication, and trust, not manipulation and control.
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