[Exclusive] “Please Don’t Kiss My Baby” – The Struggle Is Real
When a mother stops someone from kissing her baby, it can sometimes be interpreted as rejection rather than protection.
Subscribe to our FREE Newsletter, or Telegram and WhatsApp channels for the latest stories and updates.
Hari Raya Aidilfitri is just around the corner, which means house visits, family gatherings, and plenty of joyful reunions. For many families, the celebrations feel even more special with the presence of a new addition, a baby.
Naturally, these tiny bundles of joy tend to attract plenty of attention. Their adorable expressions and tiny features often make relatives want to cuddle, kiss, and shower them with affection.
But, what many people may not realise is that these seemingly harmless gestures can pose health risks to newborns.
And often, it’s the parents who are left dealing with the consequences.
A Paediatrician Shares What Happens After “Harmless” Festive Kisses
Dr Nisa Khalil, a paediatrician at ParkCity Medical Centre, says she has sat across worried parents in her clinic who were dealing with the aftermath of what began as ‘a well-intentioned festive kiss’.
One of the concerns is Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) — a virus that can be unknowingly spread by relatives who may not realise they are carrying it.
RSV is a common respiratory virus that infects the lungs and airways.
While it often causes symptoms similar to a mild cold in adults, it can be much more serious for infants and older adults. Nearly all children are infected with RSV by the age of two. The virus can cause symptoms such as coughing, wheezing and fever, and treatment typically involves supportive care to help manage symptoms.
According to Dr Nisa, the biggest risk lies in how vulnerable newborns are.
“A newborn’s immune system is extremely fragile. A virus that causes a mild cold in adults can become a life-threatening infection for a baby,” she explained.
“And the difficult truth is that the person kissing the baby usually has no idea they could be putting the child at risk.”
In more serious cases, neonatal herpes which can be transmitted through kisses from someone carrying the HSV-1 virus, may lead to brain damage or even death in infants.
“And the heartbreaking part is that this is almost entirely preventable,” she said.
Medical advice on the matter has long been clear: avoid kissing newborns, especially on the face or hands, wash hands before holding them, and limit physical contact during the early weeks of their life.
“Yet every Raya, the same scene repeats itself in living rooms across Malaysia,” she added.
So Why Is It So Hard To Say “No”?
For Dr Nisa, the real challenge isn’t medical, it’s cultural, really.
“In Malaysian culture, physical affection is deeply ingrained. Kissing a baby isn’t just a gesture of love — it’s a way of welcoming them into the family,” she said.
When a mother stops someone from kissing her baby, it can sometimes be interpreted as rejection rather than protection.
Many first-time mothers have shared stories of being labelled as overly cautious, dramatic, or paranoid for setting boundaries.
“In WhatsApp groups and even at the dining table, new mothers who set rules for their babies can become the subject of casual remarks like, ‘First-time mum, biasalah,’” she explained.
According to Dr. Nisa, this social pressure plays a bigger role than many realise.
“Parents often know what they should do from a health perspective. But in the moment, the social cost of speaking up feels too high.”
“I’ve had parents tell me they knew they should say something, they just didn’t know how to say it. And two weeks later, they’re sitting in front of me in the clinic.”
The Gap Between Knowing And Acting
Malaysia isn’t the only country facing this dilemma.
Paediatricians around the world encounter similar challenges in cultures where physical affection is a primary way of expressing love, including in Italian families, South Asian communities, and many Middle Eastern households.
However, in Malaysia, the issue often becomes more complex due to several factors.
#1. Generational differences
Older relatives may have raised children in a time when these health risks were less widely understood, and may interpret caution as rejection of their way of showing love.
#2. Gender expectations
In many cases, mothers are the ones expected to manage these situations — and they are often the ones who face the social friction when they do.
#3. Festive pressure
Festive gatherings can make it even harder for parents to set boundaries. With family members gathered, babies dressed in festive outfits, and everyone in a joyful mood, few people want to be the one who disrupts the atmosphere.
“No one wants to be the difficult person during Raya,” Dr. Nisa said.
“So many people choose to stay silent. And unfortunately, it’s the baby who ends up bearing the consequences of that discomfort.”
A Different Way To Deliver The Message
For years, public health messaging on this issue has often relied on infographics and public service announcements, content that tends to reach people who already agree with the advice.
This year, Dr Nisa decided to try a different approach.
Together with creative studio Purple Playhouse, she produced a short Raya film titled “Ciuman.”
The two-and-a-half-minute film tells the story of a young mother navigating this exact situation during a festive family gathering.
It’s not a hospital drama or a warning video.
Instead, it’s a quiet, human story about the delicate space between love and protection.
“I didn’t want to lecture anyone,” Dr Nisa said.
“I want people to see themselves in the story. Because the moment when a mother raises her hand to stop a relative from doing something she’s uncomfortable with — that moment is real. It happens in families everywhere.”
“And I just want to show that it can be done kindly. That setting boundaries doesn’t have to be confrontational.”
The full video is now live on Dr Nisa Khalil’s social media platforms including Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
Dr Nisa Khalil is a paediatrician at ParkCity Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur. Ciuman, produced by Purple Playhouse × Dr Nisa Khalil, premieres on 17 March 2026.
Share your thoughts with us via TRP’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Threads.
