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Frozen Assets: Drunk Man’s Member Meets Pavement in Icy Standoff

Frozen Assets: Drunk Man’s Member Meets Pavement in Icy Standoff

Careful maneuvering was required when the police tried to pull him off the ground.

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Just when he thought getting arrested for being involved in a drunken bar fight last month was the worst thing that could happen, a man in Alberta, Canada, found himself in a dick-lemma when an altercation during his arrest led to his member being frozen stuck to the icy pavement.

On 12 January, Blake McPhee was drinking at the East Village Pub & Eatery in Fort McMurray, when he got into a brawl with fellow bar patrons and security guards.

As the fight rolled out onto the street, McPhee reportedly kicked one guard in the crotch before he was restrained and pushed onto the ground.

A story of skin and ice

Sometimes fate can be cruel, and that was especially true for McPhee and his “McPeePee” as his pants fell down during the struggle, leaving his member pressed against the frozen road while he was held down until the police arrived.

When the cops attempted to pull him off the ground, his one-eyed snake stayed stuck, which led to some careful maneuvering to detach him from the ground in one piece.

Blake McPhee, the man whose penis got frozen to the ground. Image: instagram | @the_blakerr

Weiner and humour still in one piece

Fortunately, McPhee did not lose his main vein and his sense of humour after his arrest.

“Man I don’t know how I get myself in these f**ked up situations. Guess that’s what I get for being a drunken lunatic at the bar,” he said.

As most men would, McPhee took a moment to defend his penis which is now a viral sensation because of this wild tale.

“Still don’t understand why it was necessary to rip my f**kin drawers clean off while I’m being arrested with 3 cops n 2 security dicks on me but that’s okay.

“Also, I know I don’t have no f**kin hog or nothing, but these folks makin’ vids and s**t bout my tiny weiner lol you try having a dick n gettin er frozen fckin solid to the ground n see how small that shit gets,” McPhee exclaimed.

Guys, what would you do if your appendage was frozen stuck on something?

This story was first published on Vice.


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