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‘Water Down A Little Bit Broken’: Sungai Buloh Hospital’s Website Provides Info AND Laughs

‘Water Down A Little Bit Broken’: Sungai Buloh Hospital’s Website Provides Info AND Laughs

The English version will make you scratch your head and eventually burst into fits of laughter.

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So you’re pregnant and planning on giving birth at the Sungai Buloh Hospital. Since you’re someone who likes to be informed and prepared, you first check out their website to get an idea of the procedure.

The hospital’s website has a section on “Procedure For Maternity” and at first glance, it looks like a rather comprehensive fact sheet of frequently asked questions (FAQ).

But is that all?

Upon closer inspection, the English version of the website will make you scratch your head and eventually burst into fits of laughter. But please, if you’re pregnant, don’t laugh too hard.

Under the question “Where should I go if I give birth”, the answer provided is “Mistress should immediately come to the PAC (Patient Assessment Centre) at the Sungai Buloh Hospital (HSB) adjacent to the Emergency Department.”

Screenshot from HSB’s website

Mistress? We can only assume whoever wrote it was probably attempting to spell out Mrs but failed in a rather epic manner.

Does the mistake stop there, though? Oh no it doesn’t.

Under “What are the symptoms of early pregnancy?”, among the symptoms listed out is “water down a little bit broken”.

Something is definitely broken!

Another early sign of birth according to the website is “Pain and pubic OR feel like throwing water great.”

We’re not even sure what this means.

Screenshot from HSB’s website

The mystery of this badly written guideline continues in the following paragraph where the Malay words “jururawat” and “untuk” suddenly made an appearance in the middle of what is a fully “broken” English sentence.

The honorific used went from Mistress to Mrs and suddenly Madam.

Screenshot from HSB’s website

Take note that “Mistress Mrs Madam” will be ready for the delivery (labour) room when “the door opened 5cm womb”. Which door? Please consult your doctor, or contractor.

Another question in the fact sheet is a real head-scratcher: “Allow me to accompany her husband during the process of birth in the delivery room?”

Assuming “me” is the person reading the fact sheet, and I am about to give birth, who is “her husband” that I am looking to accompany in the delivery room??

Screenshot from HSB’s website

The entire fact sheet feels like a terrible April Fool’s joke.

We’re not sure if Google Translate was employed extensively here because a simple check proved that even the app has improved and would not provide such atrocious literal translations as it would have when it was still in its early stages.

Your best bet should you need information pertaining to maternity procedure at the Sungai Buloh Hospital is to avoid their English site and go straight to the Bahasa Malaysia version.

A check on the English version’s main page though says that the page is under maintenance, as are various sections. However the FAQ section is live and while the Visitors FAQ is not badly written, the “Procedure for Maternity” as well as the “Clinic Rehabilitation Medicine” sections require major edits.

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