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7 super-shortcuts to afford the ‘seriously unafforable’ houses in Malaysia

7 super-shortcuts to afford the ‘seriously unafforable’ houses in Malaysia

Anne Dorall

It’s official: you can’t afford to buy a house in this economy. But that won’t stop you would it? You’re tenacious. You want what you want. You’d do anything for it. Wouldn’t you?

1. Ask for money from someone who won’t want it back

Malaysians are very generous people. If you ask nicely, you’re bound to find someone who will give you all the cash they have. It helps if you learn the magic words “Your money or your life”.

2. Join an underground criminal organization

I mean sure, it’s a little dangerous, but it’s a job that pays really well. That 2-storey bungalow you’ve been eyeing? Yours by next year.

Besides, every job has its risks, right?

3. Smuggle drugs across the border

You get to travel overseas and bring home souvenirs! Just don’t bring it back in a durian. Terrible idea.

But you can definitely afford that nice beach-view unit now.

4.Gamble your way to fortune

Try your luck at the casino. I mean, you never know. You could walk away with the down payment for a brand new luxury condo unit. Beginner’s luck, as they call it.

5. Get yourself on a will or life insurance (of someone else)

Inheritance is the easiest way to a lot of money very quickly, after all. You won’t have to really do anything. Plus, a fire is easy to start.

The family house was just insured last week, how lucky.

6. Start an MLM

It’s not so bad, you get to hang out with a lot of old friends you’ve not seen in a while and have a lot of cool-looking stuff in your closet.

Besides, all that stuff will look really nice in your new house.

7. Start a phone scam

You already have the tools: a phone, and a bank account. That’s all you need. You’ll eventually get over your anxiety of talking on the phone, just focus on the end goal: a nice corner lot in a nice housing area.

Sure it may be difficult to own houses now, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. Never give up on your dreams! #HUSTLE

This article is written in jest and TRP is in no way endorsing these (illegal) ways to earn money.

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