Swallowing bucketfulls of rendang? DONE
Meet & Greet 5000 relatives? SALAM-ED
Questions on your singlehood? DODGED
All good things must come to an end and it’s time to hit the road back to
Here’s a highway jam survival guide we prepared for you folks who couldn’t afford a helicopter ride back. Good luck.
1. Call the Axe Men
By Axe Men, we mean minyak kapak.
There’s a reason why your mother, father, sister, grandmother, and grandmother’s father swear on this pungent potion.
Like magic, it alleviates headaches and can axe bad smells really well.
This is especially useful if you’re the driver struggling to stay awake on the road. Or if you’re stuck on bus where a passenger decided to take off his shoes and give you all a little, um.. aromatherapy
2. A Dope Playlist
This one’s a no brainer. With the magic of technology, you can turn your car into a club on wheels, or disco on wheels, or mini concert on wheels or even host your own carpool karaoke.
This is how me and my dad release tension setiap kali jalan jem time balik kampung pic.twitter.com/q8BQLZYftX
— Ainanzf (@Ainanzf2) May 31, 2019
Be sure to vary the list though, because the 500th cycle of Taylor Swift will have you swiftly exiting the vehicle, screaming in agony.
Throw in some funny podcasts or take the chance to educate yourself with some e-books.
There are several options to download podcasts and e-books online. Make sure to download them well before the journey because internet connection on the highway isn’t the best, so your Spotify playlist might be a little, well, spotty.
3. Map out the Journey
Seriously, do this. Go through [insert preferred GPS map option here] and make note of rest stops, petrol stations, police stations and nearby hospitals.
In case of emergency, having this knowledge will come in handy.
You’ll also thank us later when your bladder’s about to burst and you have no clue when and where you can stop to relieve yourself.
Speaking of bladders…
4. Timing is Everything
Yeah, being stuck in a still car for hours with a full bladder is no fun. So make sure you time yourself and drink a bit of water at half an hour intervals.
This way, you’ll stay hydrated without the sense of urgency that comes with drinking too much.
Besides that, stop every 2.5 hours for toilet breaks, stretching your legs and some much needed breathing space from the claustrophobic interior.
5. Treat Yourself
Okay, this might seem a little out there, but a long car ride is honestly a good time for a mini spa. We’re not talking full blown bubble bath with scented candles, but just a little something that’ll keep you calm on the road.
Put on a face mask and let your skin soak in all the goodness. Not many people may be aware of this, but air conditioning in the car can be quite drying for your skin and having a face mask on will keep you hydrated and fresh.
Dab on some invigorating essential oils like peppermint or bergamot behind your ears, crank on some light tunes and you’ll be floating on cloud nine.
6. Stretch It Out
Can’t stop the car just yet but your legs are killing you? Try out some simple in-seat stretches and exercises.
You will usually find these guides recommended for flights but it’s essentially the same situation; Stuck in a seat with nowhere to go.
Neck rolls, shoulder rolls, calf raises and deep breathing will help keep the blood flowing and prevent your muscles from cramping up.
Here’s a useful video on yoga moves for an airplane that can also be done in a car:
7. Bring a Jam Survival Kit
The jam survival kit contains all essential items to help you come out on the other side in one piece.
Must have items are:
Wet Wipes – to refresh and clean yourself since you can’t shower in a car
Power bank – so your phone has enough battery life, duh
Snacks – chewing gum, chocolate, kacang putih. Anything to keep your mind off the sea of brake lights in front of you. Ps, chewing gum also helps with reducing nausea if you feel carsick.
Travel Pillow – sleep the boredom away *only for passengers*
Hand sanitiser – in case there’s no soap in the public toilet.
There you go, our carefully curated highway jam survival guide, guaranteed to keep you (somewhat) sane by the time you reach home. Let us know how these tips worked for you.
Good luck and drive safe!
She puts the pun in Punjabi. With a background in healthcare, lifestyle writing and memes, this lady's articles walk a fine line between pun-dai and pun-ishing.